how much did Mary know?

We have fairly convincing evidence that Mary saw Jesus as her son, not the Son of God

A bramble of overhead wires in downtown Cluj, Romania. They are frustrating. Getting a decent photo of a church is impossible. The church in the distance is St. Michael's Catholic church. Things in Romania are very old compared to America. The church was completed in 1447. Columbus wasn't even born yet.

Matthew 12.46-50 (and Mark 3.31-35 and Luke 8.19-21)

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

This incident moves us to ask the question: did Mary ever follow Jesus? Is there any mention in Scripture to Mary joining the disciples, or even the masses.

On the one hand, we can’t assume that just because it isn’t mentioned in Scripture it didn’t happen, but on the other hand if the people who were telling the story mentioned others but not Mary, then we must ask why. Certainly they would have been predisposed to bringing Mary into the story. This woman who lost her firstborn son to a most horrifying death, why wouldn’t they want to honor her?

It is not spoiling the punch line to tell you now that there is no mention of Mary joining the disciples or the masses, or even the women who wept at the tomb. Interesting. And sobering. The first time Mary is mentioned alongside the others is at Pentecost. If Luke mentioned her there, then we could assume he would have mentioned her in his gospel as well... if she had been there.

Following is a list of every reference to Mary the mother of Jesus after he reached adulthood, and a few where she was conspicuously absent.

Matthew

Matthew 13.54-58

He came to his hometown and began to teach the people in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?” And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house.” And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.

This gives us a glimpse into how people in his hometown thought of Jesus and his family. Apparently they thought not too highly of them. They were common folk: no better than anyone else in the town.

This follows the incident in Matthew 12, which we assume is chronologically next as well. But it doesn’t matter so much. At issue is whether Mary followed him. It could be that Jesus went home to see his family. The text doesn’t say whether Mary was with him or at Nazareth, but it insinuates his family lived and remained in Nazareth.

Jesus saying that “prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house” implies that his “house” was a different thing from his hometown, but no different in how he was treated.

Matthew 27.55-56 (and Mark 15.40-41)

Many women were also there, looking on from a distance; they had followed Jesus from Galilee and had provided for him. Among them were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.

Matthew's listing of the women is confusing because in Matt 13 he says the people called Mary (the mother of Jesus) the mother of James and Joseph. Mark clarifies it by telling us that this is Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses. Matthew could have been more helpful if he had said “Mary, not the mother of Jesus.” But possibly he didn't say that because it was a bit too stark. Pointing out that the mother of Jesus was not there would point out that the mother of Jesus was not there.

Matthew 27.59-61

Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn in the rock. He then rolled a great stone to the door of the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb.

The “other” Mary? Wow. “Other” means not the one we would have expected?

Matthew 28.1

After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb.

Again the “other” Mary, not the Mary we want to see.

Mark

Mark 6.1-6

He left that place and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. On the sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astounded. They said, “Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been given to him? What deeds of power are being done by his hands! Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. Then Jesus said to them, “Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house.”

This is a parallel passage to Matthew 13, except that the phrase “except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house” is interesting because it makes “own house” more specific. In Matthew 13 we might have allowed that the contrast between “own country” and “own house” might have suggested that his “own house” was his hometown. But here that cannot be because he very specifically separates “own house” from “hometown” and “own kin”. Here we see clearly that he was referring to his family: His mother and father and siblings.

It is also noteworthy here that Mark says his disciples followed him to Nazareth.

Mark 15.46-47

Then Joseph bought a linen cloth, and taking down the body, wrapped it in the linen cloth, and laid it in a tomb that had been hewn out of the rock. He then rolled a stone against the door of the tomb. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses saw where the body was laid.

Mary leaves. The body of her dead son is still on the cross. Joseph takes it down and two Mary's are there to see where the body was laid.

Luke

Luke 4.14-29

Jesus, filled with the power of the Spirit, returned to Galilee, and a report about him spread through all the surrounding country. He began to teach in their synagogues and was praised by everyone.

When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,

because he has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives

and recovery of sight to the blind,

to let the oppressed go free,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

And he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. Then he began to say to them, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They said, “Is not this Joseph’s son?” He said to them, “Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Doctor, cure yourself!’ And you will say, ‘Do here also in your hometown the things that we have heard you did at Capernaum.’ ” And he said, “Truly I tell you, no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown.

All in the synagogue were filled with rage. They got up, drove him out of the town, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they might hurl him off the cliff.

If this is a parallel passage to Matthew 13 then it is presented quite differently. Regardless, there is no mention of Jesus’s family. If Jesus was in the synagogue on the sabbath “as was his custom” then why wasn’t his family there? Was it not their custom?

Also, part of Luke’s purpose here is to draw the distinction between Jesus being praised in Galilee (not his home) but scorned in Nazareth (his home) and driven out of the town to be killed.

Luke 11.27-28

A woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts that nursed you!” But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it!”

Another reduction in the importance of Mary. For Jesus to say “rather” insinuates that his mother was not one of “those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Luke 24.10

It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles.

If Mary the mother of Jesus had been in the group Luke would have said so. He wouldn’t have lumped her in along with “the other women”.

John

John 2.2-12

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding 20 or 30 gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.” So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.”

Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples; and they remained there a few days.

John 6.41-42

The Jews began to complain about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” They were saying, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

John 19.25-27

Standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

Again with the “woman” remark.

Who is Jesus taking care of: his mother or John?

Does “from that hour” mean Mary and John left the crucifixion site after he said this?

John 20.1-9

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” Then Peter and the other disciple set out and went toward the tomb. The other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent down to look in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came and went into the tomb. He saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the cloth that had been on Jesus’ head. Then the other disciple, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples returned to their homes.

John 19.27 tells us John took Mary into his home. Now she's not there. If she had been there the passage would certainly have said that Mary Magdalene ran to John's house to tell the mother of Jesus that her son was gone. Mary would have run with John. It's not like she was 90, and it wasn't unseemly for women to run: Mary Magdalene had just run to tell them. It would have been reasonable to Mary to also run.

If Mary was not there when Mary Magdalene arrived, then certainly the closing statement (then the disciples returned to their homes) would have been filled with John's excited recounting to Mary of the events at the tomb. But no. She is nowhere to be seen.

Did she go back to get her things so she could move into John's home? Possibly, but this is only chapter 20 in John's gospel. Chapter 21 occurs later, and Mary is not there and is not part of the discussion.

John 20.11-16

Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher).

One of the most touching scenes in all of Scripture. But it wasn’t his mother.

John 20.17-18

Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she told them that he had said these things to her.

Two problems: First, Jesus told Mary Magdalene to go to the disciples. He did not tell her to go to his mother. Second, she did as he asked. She told them, but not Mary.

John 20.19-25

When it was evening on that day and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” But Thomas was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.”

Same problem: Mary, who is supposed to be living with John, is not there. Thomas is not there either, but the disciples go to him and tell him they have seen the Lord. Is Thomas more important than Mary? Wouldn't it have been a mercy to tell Mary to stop grieving: your son was alive? It is astonishing that Mary is so absent and so left out.

Seriously, in all the post-resurrection accounts, it is more than strange that Mary is never there and never discussed. What son doesn't ask how his mother is or ask his friends to go tell her what is happening? What mother doesn't move heaven and earth to see her son who was dead but now is alive? I have a son and daughter. No one and nothing would keep me away. This is bizarre.

Acts

Acts 1.14

All these were constantly devoting themselves to prayer, together with certain women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, as well as his brothers.

Finally Mary reappears in the story, but notice the order: All these, together with certain women, including Mary, as well as his brothers. Not exactly the place we would put the mother of God. Yes, the first shall be last and the last first, but it is also true that sometimes the last are last.

The fact that Jesus' brothers are listed at the end shouldn't surprise us. The surprise is that they were there. They were strident disbelievers until now.

so: where was she? How much did she know?

First, we must notice the lack of information about Mary in the Gospels. One reason may be that the reverence for Mary did not come until much later. Nevertheless, except for the description of Jesus’ conception and birth and early childhood, Mary isn’t portrayed as a significant figure in the various accounts of Jesus’ life. Her distance is first hinted at when Jesus was left behind in Jerusalem and didn’t understand what him when he said, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” While we can give Mary the benefit of the doubt and say that she would not have automatically known that Jesus was the Son of God (even though Gabriel told her that Jesus was the Son of the Most High), certainly she knew he was not the son of Joseph. If Jesus now tells her plainly that he must be in his Father’s house/about his Father’s business, how could she not connect the dots?

There is no mention of Mary going to John for baptism, even though she knew that John was the prophet of the Most High and his mission was to prepare for the coming of the Lord. Whether she understood this to refer to Jesus or not is irrelevant: she knew who John was and yet did not go to him. Wouldn’t the gospel writers have mentioned such a significant thing if it had happened?

The first time we encounter Mary in the adult life of Jesus is at Cana, and then he dismisses her with a less than endearing phrase (woman) and asking why her comment had anything to do with him. On the one hand, a seemingly innocent remark such as “they have no wine” doesn’t deserve a scolding. We don’t know what was going on in their lives leading up to this, but since the next mentioning of Mary is Jesus’ refusal to come out and meet with her, it would seem there was a history. So when Jesus says that he found no honor even in his own house, we have fairly convincing evidence that Mary saw him as her son but not the Son of the Most High.

Why did Jesus make such a point of Peter's statement (You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God) if Mary already knew it? If Mary knew it, why didn't she tell Peter? Jesus says explicitly to Peter that "flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven." When Jesus sternly ordered them to tell no one, did he mean Mary too? If he did, why?

After this Mary is not mentioned until his crucifixion.

Contrast this with the other Mary’s in Jesus’ life. We have to consider the possibility that there were problems between mother and Son.