Hint: I’m not asking if you love me

Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him. We are told that because Peter denied Jesus three times, Jesus forgives him three times. No. This is not about Peter’s denial: not that one anyway.

The glass ceiling of the Black Eagle Palace, Oradea, Romania

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John 21.15-22

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.

Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!”

The typical explanation is that Jesus is about to leave and is concerned that Peter is damaged from his betrayals of Jesus on the night of his arrest. He needs Peter to know that forgiveness is abundantly granted and so he asks three times if he loves him: to give Peter—and to those who might doubt—the assurance that he is fully restored and his role in the church is affirmed. Jesus telling Peter to “tend my lambs” and “feed my sheep” establishes Peter as the shepherd whom Jesus put in charge of his flock.

No. Love is not the issue. Forgiveness is not the issue. Nor is restoration, affirmation, leadership, or even Peter. The work of God is the issue. The reason for Jesus coming to earth, and dying, and now going away is the issue.

Jesus needs to know for certain that his work will continue. God doesn't force people to love him and he doesn't force people to love one another. That's why he commanded us to do it: because it must be that way but he can't do it for us.

We, being romantics, want this to be about Jesus forgiving Peter. It’s not. Forgiveness was taken care of long before the betrayal. What Jesus is talking about is not yet taken care of. This is the handing off of the baton (more accurately, the cross) and he needs to know that Peter will take it.

And so he asks. And Peter, replying possibly in surprise, and maybe a little embarrassment, says “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

It's the expected answer, but Jesus is not concerned about how Peter feels (love, shame, regret... it's all the same: they don't matter). Jesus is going back to the night of the betrayal, but not to the betrayal. He is going back to what he told them after Judas left: the thing that was too important for Judas to hear. The important issue is not "do you love me?" but "will you do what I want?" And so Jesus says, “Feed my lambs,” because that is what he was born for. And suffered for, and died for.

The point is lambs, not love. Peter hasn’t had the chance to reply to that yet, so Jesus asks again: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” And Peter says, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” And Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.”

And he waited.

Because Peter never said, “Yes Lord, you know I do. You know I will take care of them.”

And so a third time he asks, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter, now hurt that Jesus doesn't understand the depth of his love (and shame, and regret), says, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” And Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

It’s a confusing and awkward moment. Peter still thinks it’s about him. He is so wrong. It's not about him. It never has been. Jesus told him on that last night: “You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer.” The basic training was over. No longer are they recruits; now they’re soldiers and everything depends upon them doing it, and doing it as Jesus did.

When Jesus' mother came to talk with him he disregarded her and said, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.” Peter is no more special to Jesus than his mother. If Peter is not going to “do it”, then that’s it. Jesus didn’t come into the world to make friends. He didn't die to make us cry. He wasn't resurrected to make us happy. (Seriously: find one time in Scripture where God asked how one of his prophets how he felt about things. Find one time Jesus where cared what anyone thought about what he said or did, including his mother, John the Baptist, Peter, or Paul. God doesn't care how we feel about things! He knows how miserable it is! But never does he allow that as an excuse to not do it.)

Jesus came to us for one reason: to tell us, in person, for the last time, what the Father wanted.

Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.Whoever does not love me does not keep my words.

That night, at the table, he prayed for them: a deeply important prayer:

I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.

He prayed for them. What an astonishing thing to be with Christ while he prays for you! He asks only one thing: that God will equip and protect them to do the thing Jesus has come for.

He continues. The second part of the prayer is no less important than the first. It is the prayer for those they will reach:

I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one.

Ah, here's the rub. He puts all "those" on the same plain as the Disciples. Yes, he loves Peter. Yes, Peter loves him. Yes, Peter is his friend. But that means nothing if Peter cannot love "those" just as deeply. Jesus' prayer to the Father, which surely is happily granted, is "that they may all be one." Not two: Peter and everyone else, but one.

Jesus knew Peter and he knew what would happen: Peter would not feed the lambs. Jesus died for people that Peter could not love. Peter would tolerate them, but he would not love them. He would make a show of accepting them, but he wouldn’t really. Not as Jesus had.

Even after the great commission to go into all the world, even after the lowering of the sheet and the demand to call nothing unholy that God has called holy, Peter still balks. At the Jerusalem council he would agree that the Gentiles could be accepted so long as they didn’t offend the true believers—the Jews. Peter could not, and never did them, see "those" as one.

Paul did. Paul called them brothers, sisters, friends, his children, his beloved. Peter could not. The sheep that Jesus died for, Peter could not love.

Three times Peter fails to get it. Notice how Jesus does not ask a fourth time where Peter loves him but talks to him about the belts in his life. When you were young you fastened your belt before you set off, doing whatever you were going to do that day, but when you are old someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you somewhere you don't want to go. The author (John) parenthetically tells us (not Peter) this statement was a prediction of how Peter would die. Jesus then tells Peter, "Follow me".

If the exchange stopped here we would be left with a last plaintive glimpse into the life and friendship of Jesus and Peter. Three times Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, three times Peter says yes, and three times Jesus tells him to fulfill his wish. Then Jesus breaks the pattern and tells Peter, gently, that he's going to die, not very gently. He does not wait for Peter to say anything this time, but ends it with his most heartfelt desire for Peter: Since you will die for me, will you also live for me?

We have been allowed to watch this tender scene of Peter and Jesus and love and lambs. Since we already know the next line we don't ask what might have happened; we know what did happen, so our imagination stops and gives itself to the actual. What should have happened was for Peter to say, "Lord, You know I love you. You know I will take care of your sheep and your lambs. My life is yours. Do with it whatever you wish."

But Peter, being Peter, spoils the moment by asking that if he had to die, would John too? Our hopes that Peter's love and remorse would keep him squarely on the path of Christ are dashed. He is Peter.

Imagine the disappointment of Christ. He cannot make Peter carry on his work, but he so dearly wants it, for Peter. The last thing, the only thing, that Jesus wants is to leave knowing that his work is in good hands. It must not stop. It will not stop.

Compare this to the last moments between Elijah and Elisha. Elijah is about to be taken into heaven and tells Elisha to stay in Gilgal while he goes on to Bethel. Elisha refuses: “As the Lord lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they go together to Bethel. The company of prophets there tells Elisha, “Do you know that today the Lord will take your master away?” And Elisha says, “Yes, I know; be quiet.” (He will face it, but he dreads it.)

Elijah then tells Elisha to stay in Bethel while he goes on to Jericho. Elisha refuses, the company of prophets there tells Elisha that Elijah will be taken today, and Elisha tells them to be quiet.

Elijah must go to the Jordan and for a third times tells Elisha to stay. Elisha refuses and stays close to Elijah. When they get there Elijah rolls up his mantle, strikes the Jordan, and the two of them cross over together. The final moment drawing near, Elijah asks what he can do for Elisha. Elisha, whose only desire is to do the work of Elijah, asks for a double portion of the spirit, not because it was a good thing to have but because it is the thing he needs to go what he must.

Elijah is taken, Elisha watches until he could not longer see him, then takes the mantle and starts a new chapter in the work of God.

The story of Elijah and Elisha was known to every Jew. It was written so they would come to believe, and through believing they would have life.

How it did not occur to Peter that this was his Elisha moment? Peter had been on the mount when Elijah spoke with Jesus. Then we have the time when Jesus asked the disciples who people thought he was and they answered “John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.” When Jesus asked, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter said, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus said to him in reply, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. (Notice the connection between that incident and this.) And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church.”

The rock builds the church upon the Rock. What a story it would have been. Everything was in place. All Peter had to do was refuse to be left behind. Jesus wanted Peter to take the mantle. It had been specially prepared for him. Jesus was handing it to him: here, take it. Three times he said it. And three times Peter saw only himself and the human Jesus: not the mantle.

What a different outcome our story would have had if Peter had said to Jesus, "You know I love you. Whatever you want me to do, I will do it." Instead, Peter says “what about him?” And Jesus tells Peter: why do you think this is about you! If he lives or dies, so what?! How does that change anything between you and me? My question is, and only is: Do you love me enough to love the ones that I love? Do you love me enough to love the ones I have died for? Do you love me enough to give your life for them, or do you only love me enough to give your life for me?

Peter had given up everything, but there was still one thing he lacked.

Yes, he would jump out of the boat ; yes, he would cut off someone's ear; yes, he would die for him. Upside down. But would he tend the sheep? Would he keep Jesus' work alive?

Sadly, no. He would let the branch wither rather than see other branches grafted in. He would voluntarily—with no regard for this moment—hand off his mission to the Gentiles to Paul. Jesus put the work in his hand. He toyed with it a while and then let Paul take it, because Paul wanted it. Sadly, Peter never understood. Until the very end he thought Jesus' love was about him, not them.

Yes, he loves Christ. He is willing die for him. But Christ doesn’t need someone to die for him. He needs someone to die for them. That’s the only thing that Jesus wants, and that's the one thing Peter won’t do.